


you're all the love i need somehow

by CalmSurrender, Vallern



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Camping, Character Study, F/F, First Dates, Hiking, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalmSurrender/pseuds/CalmSurrender, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallern/pseuds/Vallern
Summary: alternative title: awkward baby gay alex and cool suave gay maggie go camping together on a weekend





	1. the invitation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jura/gifts).



> Yeah, so... this was originally a 3k fic, but for some reason it grew into around 10k and I have to divide this into three chapters because even I don't want to read a 10k oneshot. Also because I'm not mean enough to send a wall of text for CS to check for grammar mistakes and such. I need to stop chasing after headcanons and plot bunnies, damn it.
> 
> The hiking and camping part are inspired from the pics Jura sent me when she went to Oregon. Now, bear in mind that I don't live anywhere near the land of freedom and I've never go hiking and camping either, so feel free to yell at me when you find inaccuracies in that part.
> 
> Hope it'll make you smile at least a little, Jura! I know it's terrible that Cheetos Man won, but stay strong!
> 
> Title is from Breathless by The Corrs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Winn are bonding about their 'otherness'.

Alex sips her now lukewarm coffee and hides a tired sigh.

After the whole alien weapons fiasco a week back, everything is quiet for once. Maybe it's just the calm before the storm, but Alex will take every chance to rest as much she can.

It's also a week after the whole kind-of-coming-out speech to Maggie. While it feels like a burden has been lifted from her chest, she also feels weird towards the detective.

Alex never really had a lot of friends before. She's never been a people person, she's awkward, and her areas of interests are, at most, niches for most people. Not to mention the whole secret agent and protecting Kara thing; it really puts a damper on any semblance of life she could have.

Not that she regrets it. She loves her job in the DEO and she loves Kara even more, but the fact remains that she has no one outside the DEO and Kara.

Sure, she has space dad J'onn and Winn is surprisingly very compatible with her as both are nerds with passion in their fields, but J'onn is busy most of the time, and Winn is mainly Kara's friend first; and if he's not with Kara, he's with Mon-El. Vasquez is on an extended leave and Lucy is back to Metropolis for Army business. Most of the other agents in DEO are either terrified of her or have hero worship a mile wide from her association with Supergirl and/or from her own actions. So yeah, she doesn't have anyone other than Kara, really.

But then Maggie came.

Maggie, with her confidence and swagger, came to her life and turned it upside down.

She never had a girl friend before. Her soccer teammates in high school notwithstanding, girls are too weird for her even though she's one herself. She gets along better with boys because they're simple. Not complicated and most of the time, drama free. She befriends them, dates them, and lets them go if they're starting to annoy her. Which is often.

Maggie, though...

She's different.

She just clicks with her from the get-go. Even if they had their misunderstanding at first, afterwards it was so great to spend time with her. She's calm, cool, suave (God, how Alex wishes she had even an ounce of that suaveness when she saw Maggie successfully smooth-talking a tight lipped receptionist for a lead and even getting her number afterwards), competent, and a damn good partner. Even the way she calls her 'Danvers' is endearing. She feels like a star in a buddy cop movie.

Which they kind of are. Buddy cop, she means. Not the movie star part. If her life was in media form, it'd be a mediocre TV show, and she'd be a supporting character, at most.

Maggie also makes Alex feel things. Things that she hadn't feel since Constance Pentaghast in high school.

They were close, _really_ close. Constance was a chemistry nerd and she was Alex's first and maybe even best friend in high school. She was nice, smart, and accepting, and Alex felt really comfortable with her.

She told Constance about her struggle with her mother and how difficult it was to adjust being a big sister for a foster kid after being an only child for 16 years. Constance listened to her patiently, and she even tried to make an effort to befriend Kara, who was still not used to her power at that time and ran away every time Constance approached her.

(She was mad at Kara at that time, but after they became closer Kara told her Constance smelled of old books, sterile lab, and dust. It reminded her of her father and it hurt too much to be reminded of her dead planet.)

Her time with Constance was the highlight of her day back then. Sometimes, when she cancelled their study sessions because she had a date with her boyfriend, Alex sulked all day long and Kara bears the brunt of her frustration. Her sister, bless her heart, tried to comfort her after the "Alexandra Danvers' mate appears to be courting someone else" thing she always said.

She denied it vehemently and took it out on Kara. Come on. Mate? Seriously? Constance is a friend, a very good friend. She hated it when they couldn't hang out together or whenever her boyfriend demanded more time, but it's normal, right? They were friends; they enjoyed each other's company. It's normal to want to spend a lot of time with them.

It was a blissful life, until one day when shit hit the fan.

Now, Alex knew the rumor about her. It's a given, really, since she's a nerdy jock with a lot of guy friends and almost zero feminine interests. It was too easy to stamp her with a lesbian label. Not that she ever cared before, and she thought Constance didn't, either.

She didn't, at least at first. Constance was never ahead of school gossip and rumors, and it was unsurprising that she didn't know the rumor about Alex. They hung out like usual, until one day, Jason Rutherford, Constance's boyfriend, confronted them and asked her why would she spend so much time with Danvers the Dyke?

Alex saw red, and it was only out of respect to Constance that she didn't rearrange Jason's face with her fists.

After that, Constance started to spent less time with Alex. It was subtle, but it was there. Thrice a week study sessions became twice, and then once. Geeking out over books was awkward. Constance never came to her soccer practice anymore to cheer for her.

It was obvious even for her oblivious self that Constance was withdrawing herself from Alex. Was it because Jason? Or maybe because things were starting to get weird between them? Was it because of the rumors?

Whatever the reason, Alex was losing her best friend. And it hurt.

She tried to talk to Constance, but Jason was always shadowing her like a fungal infection, or Constance flat out turned back when their eyes met at the hallway.

Alex knew when she wasn't wanted, so she backed off.

Her best friend fled because of a dickhead and a shitty rumor. How embarrassing is that?

Now, she realizes that she liked Constance in _that way_ after the speech.

God, Maggie is such an eye opener. It's like a dam has been opened inside Alex and everything was just flowing from her. Maybe Maggie is like a sledgehammer to her wall or something. Or maybe she misses having a friend. Possibly both.

Speaking of...

Maggie has been calling her three times in an hour. Normally, Alex would've jumped at the chance to spend time with the shorter woman, but it's weird to see her now, or at least that's how she sees it.

"Dude, your phone is buzzing again," Winn averts his eyes from the screen to look at Alex's frowning face.

"I know," she says flatly, eyes trained on the screen that's showing Kara and Mon-El sparring in the training room. "What about it?"

"Aren't you gonna, you know, answer it?"

"What's in it for you?" Alex narrows her eyes.

Winn hold up his hands. "Whoa, sorry. Didn't mean to offend. I'm just asking."

Alex sighs heavily. "Sorry. I have a lot on my mind."

"Gotcha. Don't worry about it."

They're quiet for a while, Winn is taking notes on how to improve both aliens' fighting forms and Alex is watching her sister roundkick Mon-El to the wall with amusement.

The sound of typing stops and Alex steals a glance to Winn. He's looking at the screen, his eyes fond and smiling softly.

Well, Kara is in there, after all.

Alex follow his line of sight and her breath catches in her throat when it lands on Mon-El's twitching form across the room from the gloating Kara.

What? Mon-El? But Winn liked Kara, right? How come...

And since when?

Maybe she could ask. Winn's a nice guy, he wouldn't be offended about it.

"Hey, Winn?"

"Hmm?" His eyes are still glued to Mon-El. Kara offers her hand to help him stand up and yelps when he flips her to the ground instead. Pffft. Sucker.

"How are things with Mon-El?"

"Pretty good! He's a cool dude and now he doesn't go around breaking everything all the time, I can get him things that normally wouldn't be appreciated by anyone else."

"Like what?"

"Oh, um, action figures. Knitted gloves. Milk tea, he's crazy about that stuff. Apparently they didn't have those in Daxam. He and I often play with action figures when it's downtime, and Mon's surprisingly a good storyteller. I remember two days ago he made up a story about the evil Empress of Aradia using all of my Transformers' action figures. I'm pretty sure it's a true story since he was so emotional about it, but still, it was pretty cool, you know? I hope I can hear another story from him, true or not."

Winn looks positively glowing when he talks about Mon-El. It warms Alex's shriveled dark heart.

"That's cute, and I didn't know you could knit."

"Well, I mean, I can sew, so might as well pick knitting up," he laughs. "Actually, I'll be teaching Mon how to knit this Saturday at my apartment, you wanna come? He needs more hobbies other than picking up girls—" his jaw tightens for a second. "—and besides, it's good for his dexterity, motor function, and to control his strength."

"Nah, I don't want to crash your date with him," Alex baits.

"Pfft, it's not. A date, I mean. You wouldn't be crashing anything, unless if you throw him to the wall. Please don't do that, by the way. Anyway, it's not a date! That's my point. Right."

"Winn, it's cool if it's a date. I won't judge." No way she would after all that mess with Maggie.

Winn looks at her for a second and then heaves a big sigh. "The thing is, I don't know if it's a date or not. I don't even know if I want it to be a date or not," he plays with his tie. "I, uh, don't have a lot of guy friends. Never have, since I have a lot of nerdy and, well, girly hobbies. Guys thought I'm gay and I can count my guy friends with a factory worker's hand with fingers to spare. I mean, I don't really care, being gay or bi or whatever is not something to be ashamed of, but the fact is I'm not gay," he sighs. "I had girlfriends since middle school until college, but now that I'm working with a secret organization, it's kinda killing my love life. You probably still remember how I used to like Kara for a very long time. I also kind of dated Siobhan—"

"Silver Banshee, right?"

"Yeah, her, but I didn't know at that time. Anyway, I like girls. Always have. So, um, yeah. Mon's confusing me. I definitely want to be his friend, but for anything more than that? I don't know, man. I really don't."

Alex feels an overwhelming urge to hug him, but it's probably too weird for both of them, so she settles with ruffling his hair.

"Ack! Hey! I didn't bring a comb with me today!"

"You're such a dandy, Schott."

"I take pride in my appearance, thank you very much," he huffs while trying to fix his hair with his fingers.

"Winn, can I ask another question?"

"Shoot."

"Is it an alien thing?"

"What?" He turns to look at Alex, eyes wide. "Alien thing? What?"

"I mean, xenophilia is a thing. I kind of get it. My Shepard romanced Garrus in Mass Effect, you know. And you were head over heels for Kara, and your hero worship for Clark is kinda... you know. Siobhan turned out to be metahuman. Not to mention Mon-El."

"Okay, first of all, Liara is the best, you heathen. And second, I... wow, I never really thought about it that way. So, maybe? I don't know! Aliens and metahumans are interesting! Don't blame me!"

"I shared a bathroom with one for years, Winn, I get it. You like what you like, who cares?"

"It's still weird, now that you put a name on it..."

"Sorry," she clears her throat. "Thanks for telling me all that. If you have to know, I..." she clears her throat again. "I'm in the same position too. Sorta. I don't know."

"What, you're into aliens too?" Winn smirks. Alex rolls her eyes.

"No. I think I'm into girls. Maybe. Kind of," she mutters.

"I'm sorry, what? Big Danvers likes girls? Since when?" Winn raises his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Since high school, apparently. But I just realized it, like, a week ago," she looks at Kara grabbing Mon-El in a headlock to avoid Winn's searching eyes.

"Hey, man, no judgment here. I literally just told you I'm into non-humans; you being gay or whatever is tame compared to that."

"I know, but now that I realized it, a lot of things start to make sense," she tugs at her polo shirt.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you realized it, dude," he elbows Alex's side gently.

"Thanks, me too."

"So, what made you realize that you like lady parts? Eh? Eh?" he grins widely and Alex can't help but snort in amusement.

"Someone, actually."

"Ooh, do tell! I'm so thirsty for anything that is not black op related. If there's one thing I miss from working in CatCo, it's gossip," he claps his hands excitedly.

"Well..." she drawls, playing along with Winn's excitement. It's nice to have someone to talk to like him. "Remember Detective Maggie Sawyer?"

"The cop who helped you and Kara with Scorcher and Roulette? That one?"

"Yep."

"Oh man, you have good taste!"

Alex chuckles. "Thanks."

"So what happened?"

"We're getting close and she makes me, uh, feel a lot of things," she could feel a blush starts to creep along her cheeks. Admitting it out loud to someone is different than merely accepting it. "And then she thought I was asking her out on a date and that I was gay."

"Did you? Ask her out, I mean."

"No, I was just asking her as a friend. But as for the gay thing, well..." she shrugs. "Here we are."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, her phone is buzzing again, this time from messages. It's Maggie.

Maggie Sawyer 6:23 PM

_Danvers_

_Pick up your phone_

_Are you avoiding me_

_Come on_

"Damn, speak of the devil," Winn whistles after Alex shows him the messages.

"Shit, what should I do?!"

"Just call her to see what's up, man, come on. Are you scared or something?"

"...maybe."

"Big, badass, secret agent Danvers is scared of a cop? Maybe you should get your badge reinstated," he leans back on his chair. "I can't believe this is the same Alex that punched aliens in the face bare-handed before."

Alex narrows her eyes. She knows he's just trying to bait her, but still. Ugh.

"Fine!"

Before she has the chance to regret it, she calls Maggie. The detective picks up in two rings.

_"Danvers."_

"Sawyer."

_"Finally. I'm starting to think that you're avoiding me."_

"No, I've been buried in work for the last few days."

_"Work, huh?"_ Alex could hear Maggie's smirk, somehow. _"Sure."_

"Anyway, what's up?"

_"You free this weekend?"_

"I don't know yet, why?"

_"Want to go hiking with me?"_

"Hiking?" Winn mouthes 'speaker' at her and with an eyeroll, she puts it on speaker and ignores Winn's wide grin.

_"Yeah, Danvers, hiking. Maybe some camping too. Sleeping under the star and stuff."_

"Wait, you mean inside a tent, right?"

_"Obviously, Danvers."_ Alex can hear the unsaid 'duh'. _"I found this trail outside the city. It's a pretty cool place. Whaddya say?"_

"I don't know, Sawyer. I'm a big fan of indoor plumbing."

_"Aw, c'mon. It's quiet and the sunset is absolutely gorgeous. I went there like twice last month. It's a good place to escape reality and all that. I think you'll like it."_

"How did you find the place? I thought you were new to the city."

_"Um,"_ Maggie coughs. _"With the, uh, girl you saw that time."_

Winn winces in sympathy at Alex's clenched jaw.

"Right. Your ex."

_"Uh huh. I want a weekend of just chilling and not thinking about everything. What's the better way to spend it other than with my partner?"_

Warmth blooms in Alex's chest. It's not the first time Maggie called her partner, but now that she realized things, it feels different.

_"If you don't have a sleeping bag, I'll lend you my spare. We have to share a tent, of course, but I promise I don't snore."_

Alex snores. Shit. But that's not the important thing here. Maggie just asked her to share a fucking tent with her in the middle of nowhere.

"Uh..."

_"Danvers, do I need to be on my knees and beg so that you will say yes?"_

Alex's brain short-circuits at the mental image. Her cheeks burns and she ignores Winn's shit eating grin. "Uh."

Great. She's so articulate she should change her career to be a motivational speaker.

_"I'm just kidding,"_ she chuckles. _"Unless if you don't want it to be just a joke."_

Only Winn's quick reflexes save Alex's phone from breaking all over the floor.

Maggie chuckles again, oblivious to Alex's mini-meltdown. _"So, you in?"_

Winn hands her phone back and she takes it with a shaky hand. "Uh. I don't know, really. Saturday is Danvers' Sisters Night Out."

_"Oh. Really?"_

"Yeah, we're looking forward to checking out this new pizza joint three blocks away from Kara's apartment."

Winn facepalms.

_"Well, that's cute. Guess I'll go alone, then."_ Maggie's disappointed tone is hard to miss, and she feels really bad about it, but she made a promise to Kara first.

She doesn't want to outright refuse, though. It feels wrong. "I'll let you know if anything changes."

_"Sure, if you change your mind, call me again before Friday."_

"Okay. Later, Sawyer."

_"Bye, Danvers."_  Alex hears a 'click' and pockets her phone with a sigh.

"What the hell, Alex?!" Winn is flailing on his seat. "She practically asked you to a date and yet you lied using Kara!"

"It's not a date, and I wasn't lying about it! Kara nagged me for days before I caved in to go with her this weekend!"

"Ugh, you're hopeless!"

"Says the one in love with an oblivious alien."

"I'm not in love with Mon!" Winn hisses. "I just like him!"

"And I'm telling you, it's not a date!" Alex hisses back.

Winn is about to say something back when Kara and Mon-El interrupt them, having finished their training.

"Hi guys, what's up?" Kara greets them with a smile.

"This is not over!" Winn points to Alex, who narrows her eyes in displeasure. "You need to talk to your stubborn sister!" he turns to Kara.

Kara looks at Winn in confusion and then at Alex. The older Danvers merely shrugs.

"O... kay?"

Mon-El ignores everything that's being said and goes to stand behind Winn's chair to look at his tablet. Winn goes stiff for a moment, but then he relaxes and starts showing him what he's recorded and pointing out things here and there.

Alex smiles at them as she sees how Winn's face is lighting up. She sends him a look but Winn misses it, too lost in Mon-El to notice.

She turns to Kara, who's also looking at them with a fond smile.

"I'm glad they get along so well. Is this what a mother feels like when her child starts making friends in kindergarten?" she gushes.

Alex snorts. If only Kara knew.

"So, are we still on for dinner tonight? I'm starving," she rubs her stomach in anticipation.

"Kara, you're always starving."

"You try not to after doing heavy lifting like I did today!" It's true; Kara did stop two car accidents, a bank robbery, and three burning buildings today.

"Fine, fine, you deserve extra potstickers for that."

Kara jumps and kisses Alex's cheek. "You're the best sister ever!"

"I know, who else will tolerate the dark hole you call a stomach where my pitiful government salary dies every day?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what I need? A nerd squad composed of Alex, Winn, and Lena.


	2. the revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara are bonding about their lady loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll enjoy some Kalex bonding! It's not as good as the episode, but hey I wrote it before I even watched it, and I swear I'll drown you guys in Sanvers fluff in the next chapter. Which might take a while, since the end of the episode makes me reconsider a lot of things, but I'll try to push it out this week.
> 
> Also HA CALLED IT WITH THE WHOLE 'I LIKED MY BEST FRIEND IN HS' thing. Boy, I'm a mind reader.

Alex stands in front of Kara's door, arms full of food. "Kara, it's me!" she shouts.

"Coming!"

Kara opens her door halfway, still in her Supergirl suit. "Come in!"

Alex does and puts the bags on the dining table. Kara shuts and locks the door behind her.

"Sorry to bail on you like that! I got a call and I needed to go."

"It's okay, who called?"

"Um," Kara's cheeks get pink. "No one."

"You got a call from no one and you left me at the DEO when I could've hitched a ride with you?" Alex crosses her arms, unimpressed.

Kara pouts. "Fine! Lena called me! She asked me to meet her in her office."

"What for? I thought you already interviewed her."

"No, she asked me to meet her to check on me, you know because of the attack on her gala last week. She was worried about me and she said she was sorry my night got ruined because of it," she smiles slightly.

"I see. You didn't meet her for long, though, is it okay?"

"Yeah, I had to cut it short because we're on for tonight, but she asked me again for dinner next time," Kara pulls the takeout containers from the bags. "Yay, you got me extra potstickers!"

"I did say you deserved it. Now go change first, Winn will have a conniption if your suit is covered with Chinese food grease."

"Okay!" With a burst of super speed, Kara is back in three seconds with a  pink cat t-shirt and black shorts. "So what's up with you and Winn today?" She sits on the couch, potsticker container on one hand and chopsticks on the other.

"He's just messing with me." Alex grabs two bottles of water from the fridge and follows suit to sit beside Kara.

"I thought he's too scared of you to even consider that," Kara says between chewing her food.

"Yeah, well, we were bonding and I guess he didn't find me scary anymore. Maybe that's not a good thing," she grumbles.

"Alex is making a friend!"

"Rude. He is already my friend."

"Yeah, but he was too intimidated by you—hey!" Kara pouts when Alex manages to steal a potsticker. "That's mine!"

She smirks. "So?"

"Mean!" she huffs after Alex chews her stolen potsticker with glee.

"That's what big sisters do," she ruffles Kara's hair. "Here, take my spring roll," Alex tosses one to Kara and she deftly catches it in her mouth.

Kara chomps it down in one bite. "I'm glad you're bonding with him, though. Nerds," she giggles.

"Shut it, buttface," she shoves Kara, who of course doesn't even budge. "So what's up with you and Lena?"

"W-what? There's nothing between me and Lena!"

"Then why are you blushing?"

"No reason!" The blonde turns away from Alex's gaze, busying herself with opening a box of noodles.

"Kara, look at me."

"Nuh-uh!"

She grabs her sister's cheeks and turns her head towards her. "Kara."

Kara's face is terribly red and if she wasn't a Kryptonian, Alex would've thought she had a fever. "Aleeeex," she whines.

"Tell me what's happening between you and her or I won't bring any pizza for our next sister's night."

Kara gasps. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I definitely would if you won't tell me."

"But Alex, there's nothing between us!"

"If there's nothing, why are you acting like when Cat called you by your name for the first time?"

If it's even possible, Kara is getting redder now. "I'm not!"

"Keep telling your sister that and I'm not going to bring any pizza to _two_ sister's nights."

"Alex!"

"Don't try to give me those puppy eyes."

Kara widens her eyes even more and pouts pathetically.

"Not gonna work on me."

The younger woman huffs. "Ugh, fine! I might have a tiny crush on Lena," she shifts her eyes and Alex lets go of her cheeks.

"Lena? What? Why? Since when?"

What the hell? Since when Kara likes girls?

"I've always likes girls ever since I could remember, why are you so surprised?"

Did she say that out loud?

"I just... you never showed any interests in girls before! Excuse me if I'm surprised about your crush on Lena Luthor!"

Kara blinks. "Alex. Alex. Wha—you literally just mentioned I'm acting like when Cat called me by my name for the first time. Don't you know why?"

Alex shakes her head.

"Because I _liked_ Cat, Alex! Well, I still kind of like her, but whatever! The point is I can't believe you didn't realize it!"

"I thought... I thought it was just hero worship or something."

"I have that too for her, but I mainly just like her," she frowns. "Alex, I thought you already knew that I like girls but you just never said anything about it."

"I didn't know until a minute ago, Kara."

"Don't you remember my English TA, Priyanka? Or your classmate Josephine? Or even, um, Professor Amin?"

Alex remembers how Kara used to talk her ears off about those women back then; especially Josephine, the pretty and soft-spoken exchange student from Spain. Alex herself always avoided her since Josephine made her stomach turn for some reason.

(Belatedly, she realized that it wasn't revulsion, it was infatuation.)

Her sister is big into girl power, so she thought Kara was just admiring them, and she had a couple of boyfriends here and there throughout college. Hell, she was dating James until a few weeks ago!

"Then why did you never have a girlfriend before?"

Kara sighs. "Because they're straight or out of my league or both," she pouts.

Her sisterly instinct kicks in and she moves closer to cuddle Kara from the side. "Hey, don't say that. You're a pretty good catch, you know."

"Maybe," she sighs and leans deeper to Alex's embrace. "I wish they would have thought that too. Unrequited feelings suck."

"Oh, Kara..."

Alex runs her fingers in Kara's hair. No one speaks for a minute.

"What about Cat?"

"What about her?"

"Does she... you know..."

"Um. I don't know, but either way she's out of my league and out of my life anyway, so time to move on, I guess." Kara sounds bitter and Alex curses Cat Grant's name for the nth time in her life.

"It's okay, Kara. Better than wallowing on it, don't you think?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you understand."

Alex kisses Kara's temple. "As long as you're happy."

"Thanks, Al."

A light bulb goes off in Alex's head. "Josephine, Priyanka, Prof. Amin, Cat, Lena... you're into older and powerful women, aren't you?"

"I'm mature enough to admit that power is attractive, thank you."

Alex removes herself from the cuddle and pokes Kara's side. "Mature? You? Says the woman who's wearing a pink cat t-shirt."

"Hey, it's comfy!"

"Uh huh." Alex pokes Kara's side again and soon it delves into a full-on tickling. Kara laughs uncontrollably and they fall to the couch with Alex on top of Kara. It feels like lying on a very warm brick wall.

"So, Lena, hmm?

"Yup."

Alex peers down on Kara's smiling face. "Why her?"

"Why _not_ her? Alex, she's a young CEO who's trying to get out from her brother's tyrannical shadow! A woman who wants to make her own name in this patriarchal world!"

Kara droops when she sees Alex's raised eyebrows. "All that, plus she's really pretty and nice and smart. Alex, her eyes are the exact same shade of Kryptonite! Her eyes are literally my weakness!  I also melted when she said my name for the first time with that sultry voice. Or whenever she speaks, really. She's also smart enough to build the device that stopped alien weapons, how cool is that?! She lets me into her office without having to make any appointment ever, and—"

"I'm friends with Maggie Sawyer, a lesbian, and I have to say what you just said is gayer than anything she's ever said."

"I am gay! Kind of. Or bisexual or pansexual or whatever. Labels are weird, I'm not a can of soup," she makes a face.

"You're Kara Danvers and you like people. No need to label yourself if you don't want to."

"I know. Thanks, Alex."

"You're welcome."

"Now get off, those potstickers are calling me."

"Fine, you glutton."

Alex gets off Kara and they continue to eat.

"Hey, we're still on for Saturday, right?"

"Saturday?" Kara's eyes widen comically and she has a few strands of noodles hanging from her mouth. "We have a plan on Saturday?"

"Kara, you nagged me for days to check out that new pizza joint and now you're telling me you _forgot?_ "

"...yes? I, uh, kinda made a plan for that day?"

"You're unbelievable! You're the one that wanted to go and now you're gonna ditch me?!"

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot! I'll go with you the next day?"

"Depends, what's your plan for Saturday anyway?"

"Um," she suddenly finds her noodles very interesting. "Dinner with Lena in her penthouse."

"Wow, you move fast."

"N-not like that! I mean, I don't even know if she likes me that way or not. But either way, I like spending time with her," she smiles. "I'm really sorry for ditching you, though! I swear, I'll make it up to you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Guess it'll be just me and Z-Nation again, then."

"Don't you have better plans than watching some silly zombie show and eating your weights in potato chips?"

"Excuse you? Silly zombie show? It's way better than the grimdark shitshow that is The Walking Dead. At least Z-Nation doesn't take itself seriously. Anyway, my point is I used to have a plan before a certain someone ditched me for a pretty face," she rolls her eyes.

"Aww, you called her pretty!"

"I'm not blind, you know."

"Of course," Kara grins. "But seriously, no plans at all?"

"Well, Maggie did ask me to go camping with her..."

"Really?!" The blonde squeals. "Detective Sawyer did that?!"

"Yeah, but I didn't say yes because I thought I had a plan with you."

"Now that you're free, call her and say you'll go with her!"

"But..."

"Come on, Alex! Besides, it'll be a fun way to spend some time together other than you beating her at pool games!"

"She's really, really terrible at it," Alex muses. "I don't know, though. I've never done camping before."

"You can always ask her about that! Now go call her!"

"You're so bossy," she groans.

Alex pulls out her phone and presses 2 on her speed dial, ignoring Kara's giggles in process, and hits 'call'. Kara hits the speaker mode before she even has a chance to pull away.

 _"Hello?"_ A sleepy voice answers. Alex's heart skips a beat, and from the way Kara raises her eyebrows, she hears it too. Damn Kryptonians and their super hearing.

"Are you sleeping, Sawyer? It's 9:45 PM on a Tuesday."

 _"Not all of us can still be pretty while running on two hours sleep, Danvers,"_ she shoots back. _"Now, not that I'm not glad hearing from you, but I had a long day and my bed is calling me."_

"Are you okay? You're not hurt, aren't you?" Alex ignores Maggie's jab at her sleeping habits and chooses to focus on the latter.

_"Nope, just tired. I was on my lunch break when a thief took off with a purse right in front of me. Chased him for a few blocks before I managed to jump him. I also assisted Homicide for possible murder by aliens, but so far there's no conclusion yet. I'll tell you if it's an alien. Or aliens."_

"Good, keep me updated. Oh, and Sawyer?"

_"Hmm?"_

"I think I'll take up your offer on going camping this weekend."

_"Really? What about your sister?"_

"She ditched me for a date," Alex rolls her eyes at Kara's blushing face.

_"Wow, even your sister has a love life."_

"Shut it, Sawyer, don't make me retract my offer to accompany you to the wilderness."

_"It's barely a forest, Danvers, damn. You're such a city mouse. When was the last time you went outside for non-work related things?"_

"I went grocery shopping yesterday."

 _"You know that's not what I mean, dumbass,"_ she sighs. _"Do you ever go outside for fun? Go to the great outdoors for relaxing? Is that why you're so pale, because you spend way too long in the lab?"_

"I used to surf, does that count?"

 _"Really? You gotta show me your moves someday,"_ she chuckles.

"Maybe if I'm feeling generous."

_"You know you can pick up girls on the beach, right? Surfers are pretty cool; I bet a lot of girls are into that."_

Kara does a perfect impersonation of a goldfish as she points at Alex with an accusing finger. Shit, she forgot to tell Kara about her coming out to Maggie. Or that she had come out at all. Goddamnit.

 _"I'll be your wingwoman, don't worry. Wouldn't want a cute baby gay like you stumbling around when you have me to guide you."_ Alex can practically see Maggie's smirk and Kara is glowering at her side. _"I bet you still have a beach body underneath those polo shirts, Danvers."_

Alex squeaks.

_"Too forward? I'm just kidding."_

"Um, okay. Obviously." Now Kara looks betrayed. Shit, this is not good. Why the hell did she have it on speaker anyway?

_"The wingwoman part, anyway. It'll be more hilarious to see you flailing around."_

"Thanks, glad you're so overjoyed at the thought of my failings," Alex says dryly, trying to ignore Maggie's comment about her body. It doesn't work at all.

 _"I am,"_ Maggie snorts. _"Anyway, I'm glad your sister ditched you for a date. Now I have you all by myself for the entire weekend."_

Alex blushes; Maggie's comments are becoming too suggestive for her taste. Not that she minds since she's used to the detective's flirty comments, but Kara is here and she really doesn't want her baby sister to hear those kinds of words from Maggie to her. Talk about awkward. Like it's not enough that she accidentally outed Alex to Kara. Of course Maggie doesn't know that Kara is here and she's on speaker, but still.

"Yeah? As long as you don't make me bear bait, I'm all yours."

_"Jesus, Danvers, nothing is gonna eat you. Except for mosquitoes, maybe. Bring a lot of mosquito repellent. I'll text you what to bring tomorrow, how about that?"_

"Sounds good. Now go back to sleep, wouldn't want National City's finest to be too tired to catch the bad guys."

 _"Aww, the grumpy secret agent cares,"_ Maggie coos. _"Night, Danvers. Don't stay up for too long."_

"Sweet dreams, Sawyer."

Maggie chuckles and ends the call.

Holy shit, she just said that to Maggie. Out loud. The fuck is wrong with her internal filter?

"Alex!"

Right. Kara. Kara who doesn't know that Alex had a life-shattering realization last week. Shit.

"Yes?"

"What the—you're gay?! Why would you keep it away from me?!"

"I was planning to tell you! Remember when I came here last week and then Lena Luthor interrupted us?"

"Okay, but why wouldn't you say anything afterwards?" Crap, now Kara is on 'hurting puppy' mode.

"There wasn't any time, okay? I just told Maggie like a week ago after she thought I was asking her out and that I was gay," she rubs her forehead. "I realized it right after that."

"Wait, does your bonding with Winn have something to do with this?!"

"Maybe," she mumbles.

"I can't believe you told him before you even told me! What the heck, Alex?!"

"I didn't mean to! It's not like I woke up today thinking, 'hey, I should tell Winn about my confusing sexual awakening'! He told me something private and big about himself and I felt honored that he would trust me with that, so I chose to tell him something back! I was planning to tell you before Sawyer accidentally did it!"

Kara sighs. "Sorry, Alex. It's just that I'm shocked you told him before me. And he told you his secret too?"

"It was just a friendly teasing at first, but then he just let it out and yeah. Kindred spirits and all," she pushes her fried rice around. "He'll tell you when he's ready, Kara."

"Yeah, I know. I won't ask, but I thought I was his best friend. I'm kinda hurt, I guess."

"Kara, sometimes it's easier to talk to someone we don't know all that well or even a stranger. Winn probably found it easier to talk to me exactly because we're not close. But who knows, really?" The fact that Kara was a part of his fetish (?) doesn't help, but she's not going to tell her _that_.

"I guess so," she sighs. "And Alex? I'm glad that you've finally found yourself."

"Yeah, me too."

They finally finish their dinner and Alex is tossing their trash in the bin when Kara calls her out. "Are you and Detective Sawyer together?"

Alex stumbles. "What? No!"

"But that would explain a lot of things! Besides, she makes you happy, I've never seen you smile that much before she came to your life."

"She's a good friend and an even better partner. We get along well. You know I don't have a lot of friends, so of course I'm happy because of her," Alex says while taking a seat beside Kara.

"You'd be so cute together, though."

"Why, because we're both lesbians?" It's still weird for her to admit it, but she has to get used to it. "It's possible for two women who like women to be just friends, you know that, right?"

"Of course, you butt," Kara rolls her eyes. "I mean, do you like her? In more than a friendly way?"

"Considering that I realized I'm gay because of her, I guess so," she averts her eyes.

"Alex!" Kara squeals and throwing herself on top of Alex. "Oh my gosh, you _do_ like her!"

"Get off, you're heavy!"

"Alex and Maggie sitting in a tree, K-I-S—"

Alex grabs a throw pillow and smacks Kara's face with it.

Kara narrows her eyes and smacks Alex's face back with another throw pillow.

They have a pillow fight for ten minutes before Alex gives up. Curse her human stamina.

"I give up! Ugh!"

"Yes! I win!" Kara does a silly victory dance and Alex merely snorts in response. She looks at the clock to see that it's 10.35 PM already. Time to go home.

She takes her jacket and turns to face the still dancing Kara. "Hey, Kara?"

"What?"

"Promise me to not put out on your first date with Lena."

Before Kara can respond, Alex bolts from Kara's apartment, giggling all the way downstairs.


	3. the date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie are bonding about a lot of things. A lot of blushing ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA I LIED 10K TOTAL MY ASS ugh I need to learn how to be less rambly when writing. I mean, I omitted a lot of things too, like Alex bitching about how she has to pee outside, stargazing together, and Maggie accidentally stumbled into a corpse. I don't even want to know how long it will be if I added that.
> 
> Sorry for the wall of text orz
> 
> If you can feel the shift in the writing style, those parts were written by CS and I just edited it.
> 
> WARNING shit description for camping activity, because I never go camping (and never will, probably) and CS just went once when she was 12.

Before she knows it, today is Friday night and she's at home preparing for tomorrow's hike with Maggie.

The detective sent her a message on Wednesday containing list of things to bring with her.

Maggie Sawyer 11:27 AM

_Hey here's the list of things you have to bring_

_Since it's just an overnight hike you don't need much, you probably have it in your house_

_I'll take care of the rest_

_Anyway here_

_\- Backpack (obv)_

_\- Water (at least 3 liters)_

_\- Sunscreen and lipbalm_

_\- Insect repellent_

_\- First aid_

_\- Swiss Army knife_

_\- Flashlight and extra batteries_

_\- Map and GPS (even if it's still close to civilization, we never know what'll happen)_

_\- Toiletries_

_\- Plastic bags (for trash and dirty clothes)_

_\- Spare clothes and underwear_

_\- Eating utensils_

_\- Food (bread, peanut butter, beef jerky, dried fruit, candy, granola bars, I'll bring other food)_

_Wear t-shirt, pants, socks, and boots or sneakers, maybe bring a jacket too since the weather is unpredictable_

_It's not a steep trail but don't buy new shoes bc breaking it in during a hike will take you to blister city_

_Thanks again Danvers_

_See you Saturday morning ;)_

Alex just finishes zipping her backpack when her phone rings. She smiles when she sees _Maggie Sawyer_ is written on the screen.

"Hey, Sawyer."

_"Hey, Danvers, have you packed yet?"_

"Yeah, just done for like five minutes before you called."

_"Oh, I almost forgot, wear a hat or a baseball cap tomorrow. Looks like it'll be hot."_

"A hat? Uh, let me look around. I don't exactly wear hats."

_"You can borrow mine if you don't have it lying around."_

"It's okay, lemme see... ah, there it is." Alex finds a white baseball cap in her bottom drawer with the word 'What Would Scooby Do?' written on it. Kara bought it for her after they watched the live action movie a few years ago. She personally thought it sucked, but Kara was enthralled by it, the nerd.

"Found one."

_"Okay, good. Let's meet up for breakfast at Noonan's?"_

"Wait, how will we get to the trail anyway? With our bikes?"

_"No, I have a pick-up truck, and before you make a joke of how gay is it, it's a very useful vehicle."_

Do lesbians even like trucks? "Sawyer, do I look like someone who knows every single stereotype for lesbians?"

 _"True, you're an innocent baby gay,"_ she snorts. Alex's eye twitches at being called that twice in a week. _"Or how about I'll pick you up at your apartment and then we can get breakfast together?"_

The thought of spending more time with Maggie makes Alex's stomach jolt pleasantly. "Sure, what time?"

_"I'll pick you up at 6:30 so we can go around 7 or 7:30. It'll be hot as balls around 11 to 3 so we have to arrive before noon."_

"Okay, I'll text you my address."

_"Awesome. See you tomorrow, Danvers."_

"Bye, Sawyer."

She would never admit this, but Alex Danvers might have squealed afterwards.

 

* * *

 

Alex groans when her 6 AM alarm rings. If it isn't for Maggie, there's no way in hell she would've woken up this early on Saturday voluntarily.

She contemplates staying in bed for five more minutes, but she knows she will be sleeping again if she does, so with a heavy sigh, she wakes up and drags herself to the shower.

A cold shower and a cup of coffee later, Alex feels slightly more human than before. She opens her eyes blearily when she hears a knock on the door. Her eyes turn to the clock that says 6:28 AM and realizes that it's probably Maggie.

She quickly opens her door to find a smiling Maggie on the other side.

"Morning, Danvers."

"Hi, Sawyer." Alex couldn't stop staring at Maggie. She usually wears either her NCPD jacket or leather jacket, so seeing her in a blue NCPD cap, plain gray t-shirt, black hiking pants, and a pair of black ankle-high boots is surprising. In a very good way.

"Like what you see?" Maggie smirks, snapping Alex out of her trance at seeing the other woman like this.

"Uh, um, you look good," she whispers.

"Thanks, Danvers. And look at you, rocking the lesbian chic look," she grins.

Alex looks down at her outfit. White t-shirt, beige cargo pants, and a pair of black boots. What's wrong with it? Is it because of the brown flannels shirt she tied around her waist?

"Huh?"

"Never mind," she chuckles. "Let's go or we'll gonna be late. Grab your gear."

"Sure, one sec."

Alex pulls out her phone and texts Kara.

_I'm gonna go with Maggie now, you take care with Lena, you hear?_

She then grabs her backpack and goes out of the door with Maggie.

 

* * *

 

Maggie's silver pick-up truck is gleaming under National City's morning sun. Alex squints, but otherwise doesn't make any comments.

"C'mon, we've gotta hurry. Besides, I'm hungry."

They get inside and Alex looks around the truck. It's clean and smells like orange. Maggie puts Alex’s backpack in the backseat and Alex enjoys the way her muscles ripple when she lifts the backpack. "Yeah, yeah, where are we going, anyway? Noonan's?"

"Hmm, nah, there's a small diner near the south exit border that sells 24 hours breakfast food. Let's go there instead."

"Sure."

Maggie turns on the radio and the reff of _Black Hole Sun_ by Soundgarden is playing. She hums quietly and Alex has to hide a smile.

They're both quiet during the drive, and Alex is glad because she's sleepy and the warmth of the sunlight that passes through the passenger window, lack of sleep because of nervousness of the prospect of spending the entire weekend with Maggie, and of course, because she's with _Maggie_ , a person that she likes and trusts makes her guard goes down.

She closes her eyes and she thought she could hear Maggie murmur something before sleep consumes her.

 

* * *

 

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. We're here."

"Hnnngh?" Alex feels like someone is shaking her shoulders gently. "Wha?"

When she opens her eyes, the first thing she notices that wow, Maggie's eyes are so _brown_. Like twin pools of melted chocolate.

Damn, she's hungry.

The detective smells like sandalwood and Alex decides that it's her new favorite smell.

"Danvers?"

"Y-yes?" Alex internally curses how her voice breaks. "I mean, what?"

Maybe it's just her own projection, but she swears Maggie's eyes flits downwards to her lips for a second before she sports her usual cocky grin. "We're here."

"Oh."

Maggie pulls away, to Alex's disappointment, and turns off the engine. She exits the car and motions for Alex to do so.

She does and Maggie locks the door. The sun shines gently upon them and Alex stretches and inhales the not-yet polluted air deeply. Since it's Saturday morning, there are barely any sounds around them.

"Pretty good, eh?" Maggie asks from besides her.

"Yeah, I've never come here before."

"Well, good thing we're here now. I'll tell you, their buttermilk pancakes are the best. Now let's go inside, time's wasting."

Alex shrugs and follows Maggie inside. There's no one inside but a sleepy looking waitress.

"Hey, Amy."

The waitress—Amy—perks up when she sees Maggie. "Hey Mags, long time no see! You should come here more often!" She approaches them and Alex sees Maggie hides a wince out of the corner of her eyes.

"Eh, you know how it is. Cops don't exactly have a steady schedule."

"I guess so. Are you going somewhere?"

"Hiking with her," she nods to Alex's direction.

"Oh? And who are you?" Amy's smile becomes fixed when she looks at Alex. Her eyes narrow slightly and Alex bristles internally.

"Alex Danvers, FBI." She's not in the mood to pretend to be nice to someone who obviously doesn't like her.

"I didn't know you're hanging out with an FBI agent, Mags."

"That's 'cause she's my partner," Maggie answers easily and Alex has to refrain herself from doing a fist pump when she sees Amy's face fall. "We're gonna sit, and we're gonna have my usual, okay?"

"S-sure."

Maggie encircles an arm around Alex's and leads them to a booth near the window. She feels like floating.

They're sitting side by side. "What the hell was that?" Alex murmurs softly.

"Sorry, Danvers. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Alex's senses are heightened with Maggie's presence besides her. She's so warm and soft and oh, what wouldn't Alex give to hug her. In a non-platonic way. Yeah.

"You didn't answer my question."

Maggie sighs. "We went on one date. It was a mistake. She was clingy as hell and she always gets irrationally jealous of any girls I'm close to, even now."

"I can't say I blame her."

"What?"

Does coming out as a lesbian somehow break her internal monologue filter or something? "I mean, I don't blame her for being jealous. You're, uh, pretty cool, Sawyer."

"Am I?" Maggie has a proud grin on her face. "The badass secret agent just told me I'm pretty cool. I have to mark this on my calendar."

"Ass."

"But you like me, anyway," she sing-songs. Alex blushes and looks down to the table. "Aww, you do!"

"Shut it, Sawyer."

"Hey," she touches Alex's arm. She turns to see Maggie looking at her softly; her usual smirk is replaced by a gentle smile. "I'm glad you do."

"Y-yeah." Damn, suddenly she feels too warm. Maggie has that effect on her.

Before she can say anything, Amy is back with a tray full of food. "Here you go. Enjoy," she forces a smile and puts their food on the table.

Maggie watches Amy go with a sigh. "I didn't know she's on the night shift today. If I knew, I wouldn't bring you here, Danvers."

"Why?"

"I might date around, but I don't want to intentionally hurt them. I want her to back off, but I don't want to hurt her either. This probably looks like a date to her, someone I used to date."

"Then why did you say I'm your partner?"

"Because you _are_ my partner. Honestly, even if I take time to explain that you're my _work_ partner; do you think she will listen?" Maggie rolls her eyes. "You know what? Let's just eat, Danvers."

"But, uh, is this a date?" Alex hates how her voice cracks when she said 'date'.

"Do you want it to be?"

"Uh..."

Maggie smiles again, the kind that shows off her dimples that Alex likes so much. "Chill, Danvers. It's just me. Friends can date too, you know. Don't think about it too much."

"I-I guess," Alex clears her throat. "Sorry. It's just... this is really, really new to me."

"I get it. I didn't come out of my mother's womb being this cool, you know," she elbows Alex. "I was once awkward and unsure too."

"It's hard to believe." Alex is slathering her pancake with chocolate syrup so she doesn't have to look at Maggie.

"Good, that means all of my experiences aren't for nothing," Maggie says cheerfully and steals a forkful of Alex's chocolate covered pancake. "You'll get there, Danvers. Also how the hell you don't get diabetes from all of this sweetness? Jesus."

"You stole my pancakes and yet you're complaining?"

"I absolutely am," she snorts. "Here, this is what pancakes should taste like."

Maggie lifts up a forkful of her own buttery pancakes. "Say 'ah', Danvers."

She knows she probably should say something witty to distract Maggie because this already feels like an awfully not-friend date, but Maggie's warm brown eyes and cute dimples hit Alex right in her heart and she opens her mouth to receive the offered pancake instead.

"Well? How it is?"

Alex is speechless by how close Maggie is, so rather than spraying the detective with half-chewed pancakes, she opts to nod rapidly.

"Good."

She throws another smile to Alex and goes back to eating.

Alex feels like she wants to giggle after what Maggie did, but she manages to hold it in. Barely. She can feel herself smiling.

She's halfway through her pancakes when she feels her phone buzzing. Her hand brushes against Maggie's thigh when she takes out her phone from her pants, and she nearly drops it. Maggie smirks and she unlocks her phone while trying to ignoring the fluttery feelings in her stomach.

Kara 7:02 AM

_Yes i will omg alex!!!! Take lots of pics for me and have fun!!!!! <3 <3 <3_

"Who is it?"

"Kara. She asked me to take a lot of pictures for her."

"Aww. You did bring a camera, right?"

"Just my phone. I don't exactly have a DSLR lying around."

"Hey, gimme your phone."

Alex hands Maggie her phone with a confused expression. "For what?"

"First picture for your sister. Look to the camera, won't you?"

Oh. Maggie wants to take a selfie with her. She shouldn't feel so happy over a simple thing like this.

"Ready? 1, 2..."

_Click._

"Hey, I wasn't ready!"

"Too bad," she snickers and taps on Alex's phone. "I'm sending that to your sister."

"Damn it, Sawyer, I probably look terrible!"

"Didn't know you were the vain type, Danvers. Besides, you look cute in that," Maggie smiles and hands Alex's phone back. Alex scowls and looks at the gallery screen.

Maggie is smirking to the camera while holding a fork and Alex looks like a deer caught in the headlight with chocolate around her mouth. Damn it.

"Ugh, I do look terrible!"

"Nah, you're cute. If you say 'I look terrible' again, I'd think you're fishing for compliments, Danvers. So shh."

Before Alex could reply, her phone buzzes again.

Kara 7:05 AM

_Omg!!!! You and det sawyer are so cute ahhhh <3 <3 <3  she looks cool :DDD_

"Glad your sister likes it."

Alex yelps, an undignified sound for a tough secret agent like herself. "Sawyer, don't you know it's rude to see other people's messages?"

"I'm a cop, Danvers. Being nosy is my job."

"We're not working right now, so I'd say being nosy is just your default state."

"You got that right," she shrugs. "But really, I'm glad Baby Danvers likes it and that she thinks I'm cool."

"Why?" Why does Maggie care about Kara's opinion of her?

"Your sister is important to you. I want her to like me and I want us to get along. You should introduce us sometime."

"Um." That feels like introducing a serious girlfriend to the family and they're not even dating! "Maybe you could join our sisters' night next time."

Curse her big mouth.

"I don't want to intrude."

"No, it's okay. It's like the only time I can meet her for more than ten minutes at a time, since we're both really busy." Technically, while she meets Kara at the DEO nearly every day, it’s as Agent Danvers and Supergirl, not Alex and Kara.

"Really? What's her job?"

"A reporter for CatCo." As much as she likes Maggie, there's no way she'd tell her who Kara actually is.

"Ah, no wonder. But really, is it okay for me to join your sisters' night?"

"It's okay. She wants to meet you anyway, so might as well. Kill two birds with one stone and all that."

"I can't wait." God, Maggie's dimples will be the death of her.

"Me too."

They're smiling at each other and without any words Maggie grabs a napkin and starts to clean the chocolate around Alex's mouth.

She freezes and stares at Maggie with wide eyes.

"You're a messy eater, Danvers. Good thing I like that in women."

Alex swoons.

 

* * *

 

It's 9 AM, around one and a half hour after they're starting to hike and Alex is enjoying herself.

It's quiet with the occasional sounds of birds chirping, the air is fresh, and the trees are sparse enough for the sunlight to come through, bathing everything in a gentle, almost dream-like filter.

Maggie is in front of her with a backpack as big as her. Alex laughed when she saw her pulling it out from the backseat of the car, but her laughter turned into a cough of admiration when she easily picked it up and to a grumble when Maggie tossed her a sleeping bag.

(And she shut up not long after when she realized that she'll be sleeping close to Maggie all night.)

"Yo, Danvers, are you tired?"

She nearly crashes into Maggie. "Don't stop all of the sudden! And well, yeah, kinda. Do you want to sit down for a bit?"

"Hell yeah. Let's go over there," she points to a big rock near the stream.

"Sure."

After brushing the rock from possible insects or ants or anything else that might literally bite them in the ass (outdoors is so gross), Alex bites back a groan when she sits on a patch of wet moss. She can feel her right cheek getting damp.

But it's all forgotten when she turns to see Maggie drinking. The way her lips wrapped around a squeeze bottle will haunt Alex's dreams, for sure.

Damn, since when did she become such a pervert?

Maggie notices her staring and stops drinking, to Alex's disappointment. "Want some? You look thirsty," she grins and offers Alex her water bottle.

"Uh, I have my own, but sure," she takes the bottle and inhales deeply when her fingers brushed Maggie's.

She tries not to think about how this is an indirect kiss and drinks the water.

Now it's Maggie's turn to stare at her. She tries to ignore her since it makes her feel self-conscious, but it's not like she can ask Maggie to stop since she did the same earlier, and to be honest, she enjoys the attention.

It allows her to hope.

She finishes drinking and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She swallows another sigh when her fingers brush against Maggie's yet again when she hands the bottle back to her.

Maggie puts the bottle back in her backpack and takes off her hair tie and cap. Alex bites her lips when Maggie shakes her hair free and she inhales a sweet smell of mango and a hint of sweat when a few strands of dark hair hits Alex's face.

"That feels better," Maggie sighs. "By the way, I didn't know you had such a dorky cap, Danvers."

Alex quickly removes her cap, feeling self-conscious. "It was from Kara. She went through a Scooby-Doo phase a few years back. She liked the first live action movie so much she watched it over and over again I swear I can recite it in my sleep."

"Hey, don't hate. Have you seen Linda Cardellini's Velma? She could talk my ears off about the most obscure nerdy things ever and I'd still listen to her."

"You like nerds, Sawyer?"

Maggie's smile makes Alex's heart skips a beat. "A lot."

"Cool. Cool cool cool." She tries to not let herself hope, but it's hard not to when Maggie looks at her with those gentle brown eyes.

"I know," she smiles. "How about you?"

"I don't know, I'm still a newbie, remember?" Because as much as Alex wants to say _I like you_ she knows it's not a good idea. It's too soon.

"Right. Bambi Danvers, trying to stand up on her own feet against the world."

"Does that mean you're my mother doe?" _What. What the hell, Danvers._ _What._ "Since you were the one that... uh... brought the realization in me and all. In a way, you gave birth to the new me?"

If Alex could drown herself in the shallow stream, she would, because _what_.

"That's a pretty weird way to look at me, Danvers." To her credit, Maggie doesn't laugh at her. At least not outwardly.

"You know what? I'm gonna shut up now," Alex croaks out.

How could she ever hope that Maggie will like her back? Even if she did say she likes nerds, Alex is too awkward and too strange it practically offsets whatever advantages she has.

"Aww, the badass agent is so awkward," she snickers. "Don't worry; a lot of girls are into that. It's like a killer combination. You'll have girls falling into your lap in no time."

Alex wants to scream _none of it matters if you're not into me_ , but instead she says, "You think so?"

"Mm-hm." Alex watches as Maggie digs into her backpack and pulls out a package of M&M's. "It's endearing."

"Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." Maggie tears off the corner of the package, pours some of the candies straight to her mouth, and hands it to Alex.

For a few moments, there are no sounds except for chewing and a low "mmm" from Maggie, which makes Alex wants to drown herself in the stream again, but this time for a very different reason.

"Sawyer?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks. For, uh, you know, everything. For being my friend, my partner, and even, uh, making me realize things. I owe you," Alex fidgets with the package on her hand.

"Hey, I'll always try to make things easier for the noobs if I can. And c'mon, Danvers, that's what friends are for," she elbows Alex's side gently.

"Right." Friends. That's they all are. Fine, Alex can make do with that. "I'm glad we're friends."

"You told me that already, but I like hearing it," she smiles.

Alex shrugs and nearly has a heart attack when Maggie stretches and her shirt rides up, exposing a sliver of brown skin underneath her shirt.

"Well, that's enough of the serious talk for now. I'm gonna wash my face." Without waiting for Alex's answer, Maggie slides down the rock and kneels to gather the water in her hands and starts washing her face.

Alex feels like a creepy old man when she's staring at Maggie's wet face, but she couldn't stop herself. She looks so beautiful.

She feels like a stalker, but she takes a candid photo of Maggie looking at the water and saves it guiltily.

"Danvers, you wanna play with your phone some more or do you wanna keep going?"

Hastily, Alex stuffs her phone in her pocket and slides down the rock.

 

* * *

 

They finally reach their destination around 11.30 AM. Alex is already cursing the sun, the wind, the insects, and everything that comes to her mind because she's hungry, sweaty, hot, and she wants to fall face first into a tub full of ice cubes. Why did she come here again?

"Danvers, stop growling at the trees and come here."

Right. Because of Maggie fucking Sawyer.

With a grumble, she trudges to the clearing and sets her backpack down with a groan.

"What, you tired?"

"And hot and sweaty and I want to shower."

Alex's stomach growls.

"And hungry. Man, you're really not cut out for this," Maggie snorts. "Go sit under the trees, I'll set up the tent and then we can eat, you big baby."

Normally, Alex will be offended by that, but she's tired and as much as she wants to help Maggie, she has no idea how to set up a tent. God, she'll die first in a zombie apocalypse, probably.

She sits under the shade just watching Maggie do her thing. She'll give her extra food as thanks, maybe.

The breeze picks up again and Alex feels her eyelids grow heavy.

 

* * *

 

She must've dozed off for a few minutes, because when she opens her eyes, she feels Maggie sitting beside her and a white tent is standing proud on the clearing.

"You didn't help and you were sleeping? What kind of partner are you?"

"A tired and hungry one."

"Put the backpacks inside the tent; that's the least you could do."

"Yes, Detective Sawyer, ma'am," Alex gives a mock salute to Maggie and goes to take their backpacks.

She can hear Maggie chuckling and it makes her chest feel tight somehow. Alex just snaps out of it and takes their backpacks inside the tent and goes to sit next to Maggie once more.

Maggie is looking at the sky, her face pensive. Alex thinks for what it feels like the twentieth time that day about how beautiful she is.

"What's on your mind, Sawyer?"

Maggie doesn't even look at her, too lost in her thoughts apparently. Alex immediately misses her attention.

"A lot of things."

Alex is a bit worried now and there's something that's been bugging her even before this trip started so she asks.

"You okay? Why did you need to get away, anyway? I hope you're not in the run and I'm helping a runaway cop escape." She jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

Maggie smiles but Alex notices that this time it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Don't worry, Danvers, we're partners fighting crime not 'in crime'," she sends her a little smile, this time more sincere. "And honestly? I don't know. There's been a lot in my mind lately. I'm new to this city and having a job like the one we have, I don't really have time to go out much and sightsee," she sighs. "This place though, it has to be my favorite spot in this whole city. And I didn't find it on my own. It was, well, with her, so it's full of bad memories now, you know? Things ended up so terribly wrong that it ruined my favorite place here," Maggie rubs her forehead. "I don't want it to feel like this anymore. I don't want to care about it anymore. So I wanted to come back here and create new memories instead, and you are the only person I could think of that could make something like this feel good again."

She looks intently at Alex and Alex feels her heart stop. Maggie is looking the other way again and Alex just wants her to look at her one more time.

She gets closer to Maggie and her bravery strikes for once. Alex takes Maggie's hand in hers.

"Look, I'm really sorry for what happened with your ex. You deserve so much more. You're none of the things she said you were. You're such a caring person. So brave and honest. You're so strong. I hope you're not letting any of what she said get to you because they're just lies she said to hurt you."

Alex can see tears forming at the corner of Maggie's eyes and her heart breaks. She's feeling murderous feelings towards someone she only saw a glimpse of.

"Geez, Danvers, are you hitting on me?" Maggie smirks and Alex blushes deeply. "But seriously, thank you. That means a lot, and what do you know, you're already making me love this place again," she smiles. "You're a special one, baby gay," Maggie's dark eyes are twinkling with humor.

Alex’s blush deepens, but she just rolls her eyes. "Stop calling me a baby gay, you're so annoying sometimes."

Everything's back to being light-hearted again and Alex feels relieved to see Maggie's smile, open and honest. She's still worried, but she's making it her mission to give Maggie the best time she can.

She's good at cheering people up, even if it doesn't look like it. Years of trying to distract a young Kara from the fact that her entire planet and everyone she ever knew were dead help with that.

"But that's what you are, baby gay." Maggie sticks her tongue out to her and Alex punches her arm playfully while rolling her eyes.

"Whatever, Sawyer, let's eat. I'm starving and those M&M's are not enough."

"Yeah I'm hungry as well. Can you light a fire? I have some meat and can beans in my cooler. I'll go pick them up while you're at it."

 _Light a fire? But how?_ "Uh, sure."

Maggie throws her a small package. "There are some matches in there. Go get some rocks and twigs."

 _What the fuck do I do with this?_ "Okay."

She walks a bit and finds what Maggie asked for and returns. She remembers what she's seen in horror movies where dumb people go camping, so she makes a circle with rocks, digs a bit and places the twigs inside.

Alex lights a match and throws it inside the hole. Nothing happens.

She hears someone giggling and looks up, seeing Maggie looking down at her, amused.

Alex glares at Maggie and lights another match, this time trying to light one of the twigs she got with it. She almost burns herself with the flames from the match reaching her fingers. Failed again.

She hears Maggie moving but she doesn't dare to look up, knowing she'll make fun of her.

"Here, let me help." Maggie is standing right behind her and she feels more than hears her voice in her ear. She blushes and almost falls on her ass.

Maggie throws some dry leaves and newspaper to the hole and takes Alex's hand, lighting another match while holding it.

Alex wants to die.

"You need to use something dry and flammable to start lighting it up, the twigs you picked are too thick so they're more like the firewood we needed. That was decent enough for a newbie though, Danvers. I'm impressed." Maggie smiles at her and Alex tries to focus on something else than that hypnotizing smile and the fact that Maggie is still holding her hand. She feels really warm and she's not certain it's from the fire that's building up.

Maggie lets her hand go and places some kind of grill grate over the bonfire, then she puts some cans with beans and the meat on it.

The detective sits next to Alex and turns the meat around when she has to. She's looking at the fire and Alex follows her eyes.

They stay like that for a while. She feels Maggie's eyes on her after and she tries not to blush, focusing in the fire.

The can starts turning a bit red so Maggie takes it out of the fire and puts it in the ground.

"I couldn't find your cutlery so you should go get it, it's about to be ready soon." Alex nods and heads to the tent.

Once she's back Maggie is cutting the meat. She looks at Alex. "You're not a vegetarian, right? I mean I am a vagitarian but I love me some meat."

She chokes on her spit and Maggie laughs out loud. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist."

Alex tries to ignore her blush. "No I'm not, I love meat too. Can't live without it."

"Good," Maggie smiles. "Here, try this. I don't know if you like it a little bit on the red side or well done, like a peasant."

"Um, actually..."

"Of course, I'm not even surprised," Maggie rolls her eyes. "Wait a little bit then you heathen." She cuts a piece to herself and lets Alex's portion cook a bit more.

"Excuse you, meat was made to be cooked, not eaten raw, you monster." Maggie just rolls her eyes again and starts biting into her piece.

"Whatever you say. You can open the can and eat some beans while you wait if you want to." She throws Alex a can opener and Alex gets to it.

They eat in silence for a bit, appreciating the breeze around them, the sunlight on their backs, and the crackle of the fire in front of them.

After a while Maggie hands Alex the meat and Alex passes the beans. They share a smile and Alex lets out a moan after biting into it. She blushes and Maggie looks her in a way Alex can't describe.

"It's really good. Thank you."

"Thank you too, you know, for coming. I really appreciate it." Maggie sends her another smile. "So what were you doing with your sister before she ditched you for a date anyway?"

Alex chuckles. "Oh, we were gonna check out this pizza place she's been dying to go to since it opened."

Maggie tilts her head like she always does and looks at her amused. "Pizza place, huh? You gotta show me sometime, it's been a while since I had a good pizza."

Alex's heart flutters at the prospect of another date with Maggie.

Wait, date? No, friend date, yeah.

"Sure, I haven't checked the place yet so I don't know if it's good though, but I've only heard good things about it on Yelp."

"We could go check it out one of these days if Kara is too preoccupied with her date later on, we'll save her a piece of two."

Alex nods, chuckling. Yeah, like Kara would be satisfied with two slices of pizza.

Maggie stands up. "Now that this is done, we better stop this fire."

"Wouldn't want to ruin your favorite place, would we?" Alex stands up too, and they head to the small stream that's next to them. Maggie gets a bucket and fills it.

They're back in two minutes and Alex throws the water to the fire and just like that, it's out.

"I wish it was as easy to turn on as it is to turn off."

Maggie chuckles. "I know what you mean, but there are some things that are easy to turn on."

Alex almost chokes.

"Like this lantern I have on my pocket." Maggie smirks. Alex wants to die once more.

Without a word Maggie enters the tent and Alex is left staring. At her ass. Because she has no self control.

She tells herself to snap out of it and looks at her watch. It's almost 4 PM and the sun is going to set soon. Fall weather.

Maggie comes out of the tent holding something in her hand. She's smirking. Alex looks at her curiously.

"So I know I suck at pool, or maybe you're just too good, but I bet you can't beat me at poker."

Alex's crosses her arms and smirks back.

"Don't be too sure about that, Sawyer. I'm pretty good."

 

* * *

 

"Are you kidding me, Danvers? Now I know you're cheating!" Maggie throws her cards to the ground and glares at her.

"Hey, I did warn you I was good, and honestly, Sawyer? Your poker face sucks. Even my sister is more subtle. How did you become a detective again?"

Maggie gasps, offended. "How dare you! My poker face is on point! You're just too good of a detective, maybe."

Alex smiles smugly and feels mushy inside at Maggie's compliment. "Sure, if it makes you feel better after I kicked your ass at poker, let's go with it."

Maggie gets all over Alex's face and Alex feels all her bravado and smugness disappear in an instant. "Don't look so smug Danvers, soon I'll find a game you suck at and I'll be the one that gets the last laugh." She flicks Alex's forehead for good measure and then moves and sits on the ground.

Whatever reply Alex may have gets stuck in her throat and she's left staring at Maggie's face with her mouth open like an idiot.

"What are you doing there? Come and sit down! The sun is about to set and it looks pretty from here."

Alex obeys silently and looks at the sky, imitating Maggie.

The sun starts setting, and the sky is washed on different shades of orange and purple. It looks stunning.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Maggie says, still looking at the sky.

Alex looks at Maggie now. Some of the colors of the sky reflected on her skin and hair and her eyes are shining with the sunlight. But of course, it’s her smile that draws Alex the most. She just wants to trace Maggie’s dimples with her fingers.

Alex thinks this is Maggie at her most beautiful form.

"Yeah, it is,” she whispers.

Maggie looks at her now and she catches her staring. There's that weird look in her eyes again and she looks like she's trying to say something, but thinks better of it. Alex desperately wants to know what Maggie wants to say, but at the same time, she’s also afraid of it.

Maggie clears her throat and looks away. The sun is out, and the stars, moon, and lights from the city are the only things illuminating their way.

"So, I know it's not that late, but it's getting cold and we did wake up very early today. So what do you say? Let's go into the tent?"

Alex nods, still caught up in what just happened, and follows Maggie inside.

There are a lot of things in her mind, and in Maggie's too, judging by her silence. Maggie gets inside her sleeping bag and Alex does the same. She's staring at the ceiling of the tent. Maggie turns the lamp she brought on and leaves it over their heads.

They're so close that Alex can feel every move. This tent it's big enough for two people, but just barely. She starts to freak out, thinking about their proximity.

"Hey, you okay? You're a bit quiet there." Maggie turns around to face her. Alex gulps.

"Yeah, just trying to get used to this. I kinda miss my mattress." She tries to lighten the air that feels heavy with some kind of tension.

"Oh, you big baby," Maggie chuckles. "So you've never had a mission where you had to stay the night somewhere like this or sleep in uncomfortable places and all?"

"Actually, not really, not quite like this. I'm not really complaining, it's different, but it doesn't feel that bad. We always had helicopters or something like that to pick us up when we needed to." Alex shrugs.

"The magic of government funds. You're lucky.”

"Yeah, I guess I am." Alex observes Maggie now; she looks peaceful, but not really happy. "Hey Maggie, are you really okay?"

Maggie smiles and it reaches her eyes this time. "Damn Danvers, using my first name and all? You must really care. How cute," she smirks. Alex rolls her eyes.

"I’m serious."

Alex is worried. She is too aware that her feelings for Maggie are more than what friends should feel for each other, and she really wants to make sure she'll be alright, no matter if friends are all they're going to be.

"I am okay. I'm not as happy as I could be, but you know what? For the first time since it happened, I really feel like I'm going to be. And it's all thanks to you, Alex. So thank you."

Alex feels likes she's going to melt. She beams at Maggie and she wants to reach out, do something.

She just nods, a tiny smile on her face. Inside the sleeping bag, she's hugging herself though.

"Enough of the serious talk for today though. I'm super sleepy so that's what I'm going to do. Goodnight, Danvers."

"Goodnight, Sawyer."

 

* * *

 

Sleeping it's easier said than done when you're sleeping so close to the person you're pretty sure you have a big crush on, who (probably) doesn't know anything about said crush.

Hours pass, or maybe minutes, she's not entirely sure. Suddenly she feels an arm envelope around her waist and before she knows it, Maggie's entire body is draped all over hers.

Alex's heart feels like is going to fly right out of her chest. She's blushing intensely and she feels warmth all over. There's no way in hell she'll be able to sleep now. Great.

She’s not complaining, though.

She puts her arms over Maggie's and sighs contently. When she recalls her sleepovers with Constance, they never felt this right.

An hour later, Alex is fast asleep with a happy smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

The sun shines through the material of the tent, right into Alex’s eyes. She opens them slowly and tries to move, forgetting where she is. A weight on her body stops her and she looks to her side with alarm.

Maggie's sleeping face is right next to her. So close.

Everything comes crashing down and Alex feels like she’s going to hyperventilate from happiness, if that’s even a thing.

She feels Maggie begin to stir and she turns around and pretends to be asleep.

Alex feels her tense up and she immediately feels sad, because she knows it means it'll be over soon.

But Maggie doesn't let go right away. In fact, she holds her tighter and buries her head in Alex’s shoulder for a few seconds before she untangles herself from the embrace.

Alex feels all warm and hopeful this time. She waits for Maggie to get out of the tent to finally open her eyes.

That was unexpected.

Alex doesn't really know what to think. Was that a good sign?

She waits for a few minutes before she gets out of the tent following Maggie.

Maggie is crouching near the river while brushing her teeth. Alex joins her and starts washing her face.

"Good morning to you too, Danvers." Maggie throws her a towel. She takes it and dries her face with it.

"Good morning, Sawyer." The water dripping down Maggie’s neck once again makes Alex’s throat feel dry.

She looks at her in the eyes after a few seconds and Maggie is smirking. Damn, caught red-handed.

Alex tries to cover her blush by pretending to yawn.

"So do you think you'll be okay with some of the cereal bars and the fruit you brought for breakfast? We should be going soon anyway. Maybe we can grab some food at the diner before going our separate ways?"

The thought of going to her empty apartment after spending so much time with Maggie makes her chest hurt, but she nods. The last thing she wants to do is be too clingy.

"Yeah, do you need help with the tent? It's better if we start picking things up right away. We can always have the food in the car." She looks to the place they both slept in and feels sad again.

"That's a good idea. Let's get everything in our bags first."

They do as Maggie said and in 10 minutes everything is ready to go except for the tent.

Alex gets in one side of it and Maggie places herself in the other. They start to take the sticks out and soon enough the tent is on the floor.  It takes them 15 more minutes to set everything up and the tent is placed in Maggie's backpack.

"Looks like everything is where it needs to be. Ready to hike down to the car?" Maggie asks while she's putting her backpack on.

Alex is struggling with her things but she manages to nod, and not fall on her ass while she does so. Maggie chuckles and gives her a hand.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, they're getting everything into Maggie's car. Maggie closes the trunk and gets into the driver seat. Alex follows and sits next to her.

"Well, that was fun. Hope you had a good time Danvers, I know I did," Maggie smiles openly and Alex melts.

"I did, who would have known camping could be fun?" She smiles back.

"I can make anything fun," Maggie teases. "And seriously, we only stayed for one day so you can't say you've experienced camping, you whiny baby."

"Who are you calling a whiny baby? And hey, a day is more than enough!" Alex crosses her arms.

Maggie turns the engine on and gives one last look to the place. "What about the ‘oh, I'm so hungry, and tired, and sweaty, blah blah,’ that you went on about more than once."

"Hey, that doesn't count! You have to admit it is tiring."

"I will admit it only if you admit you cheated on poker," Maggie smirks. Alex wants to kiss that smirk away.

What.

She meant slap. Slap, damn it. Stop being so gay for once.

"You know I didn't, you sore loser. Man, we should have placed a bet. That was a missed opportunity."

Maggie rolls her eyes but her soft smile gives her away.

When she turns the radio on, _Shape of My Heart_ by Backstreet Boys is playing and Maggie grins widely. “Damn, this is my jam!”

"Ugh, not you too," Alex groans.

"What? I didn't take you as a hater. They have good catchy songs! Lighten up, Danvers."

"My sister is definitely going to like you now. You both have awful taste in music."

"You sister knows where it's at then." Maggie starts singing along to the chorus that Alex is ashamed to admit she knows very well. It's all Kara's fault.

Her singing is contagious so after a minute she's singing along as well and Maggie gives her a thumbs up in approval.

 

* * *

 

After they're done with the trip that was filled with 90's and 00's pop songs (which, Alex ashamed to admit, she knows inside out thanks to Kara and her gigantic crush on Britney Spears), they arrive in the diner. There isn’t a lot of people since it’s not even noon, so when they get inside they can take a booth near the window.

A different waitress greets them this time, which they're both thankful for. She seems to be new.

"Good morning. May I take your orders or do you need some time to think?" she says with a smile.

"I'll have the chicken sandwich with fries on the side and also ice tea," Maggie answers.

Alex doesn’t even pay attention because she is well aware that after this, she has to get back to real life.

"Danvers?"

"Huh?"

"Your order?"

"Oh. Um, I'll have the same as her,” she says to the waitress.

The waitress nods and goes.

"Where were you just then?" Maggie asks her, tilting her head.

"Nowhere, I’m just thinking about having to go to work tomorrow." Which is partly true, but what's really bothering her is being away from Maggie after being so close to her for the entire weekend. Figuratively and literally.

"Aww don't be a downer, Danvers." Maggie takes her hand and smiles. Alex feels butterflies in her stomach and curses all the clichés in the world. "We can always do this again sometime." She squeezes her hand and lets go after a few seconds. Alex immediately misses the warmth.

This time with Maggie has been everything, but it's made her feelings so much more complicated. She's 100% sure what she feels for Maggie is more than friendship and she's scared, very scared. She doesn't even know if Maggie likes her back in that way, but while there have been some signs, she doesn't want to hope. It’s scary to put herself out there.

Maggie is waiting for her to reply so she pushes those thoughts away from her mind. "Yeah, I'd love that. Maybe something different than camping, but I know how important that place is to you so I definitely won't say no to going again."

Maggie beams at that. "Good, besides, I still need to think about a game where I can beat your ass. It's about time."

Alex chuckles. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, you beat my ass at camping. And I guess at being gay."

Maggie laughs out loud at that. "I guess you're right, I am the best gay in this table."

Just then the waitress appears with their food and gives Maggie an amused look. Alex stifles her laughter and Maggie just shrugs. She places the food and drinks in the table and returns to her place with a smile.

They eat in silence, enjoying each other's company. The food is very good and they were starving.

Alex keeps glancing at Maggie, trying not to be too obvious, but she fails spectacularly. Every time Maggie catches her, she gives her a warm smile, which makes Alex blush and she barely manages to avoid choking every time. She feels like melting when Maggie sends her that beautiful smile. She can't handle that feeling anymore.

She's about to say something but the waitress comes over. She asks them if everything's okay with their food. There's barely any left, but she's looking at them intently. They both nod and Maggie asks her for their bill, since they're about to be done anyway.

The waitress nods as well and then she's gone.

Maggie looks at her weirdly and then at Alex. Alex sends her a curious look, but Maggie just shrugs.

The waitress comes with the bill and Alex goes to reach for her wallet but Maggie stops her. "Hey, you agreed to come with me, it's only fair that I pay." Alex wants to protest but Maggie stops her with a look.

She frowns. _This definitely feels like a date. Ugh, feelings._

Her inner monologue is interrupted by the waitress placing a paper in her hand. She winks at her and then approaches some new customers who just sat down.

Alex looks down at it and notices it's a phone number with _call me x_ on it.

She looks at Maggie for advice and she has an unreadable expression on, which then turns into a smirk. "Wow Danvers, I guess you don't need my advice after all. Look at you, baby gay, I'm proud."

Alex glares at Maggie. "Shut up, she can hear you! Let's go."

She drags Maggie out of the diner and Maggie is looking at her smugly.

"You should call her right now, or text her. Come on, do it!"

Alex is annoyed now. The waitress was cute and all but she doesn't want to fool around with a stranger. She wants Maggie.

Oh God, she wants Maggie.

"I don't want to."

"Come on, Danvers! She was cute, she gave you her number, what are you waiting for?" Maggie is smiling at her but it doesn't reach her eyes once more. "What is it, is she not your type? This will be a big step! Come on, just give it a try!"

"I said no!" Alex snaps and Maggie is taken aback.

"Wow chill. I'm just trying to be encouraging here. Don't you want to explore this part of you?"

"No! I mean yes, but..."

"But what, Danvers? You're acting weird right now."

"I want you!" Alex screams.

Shit.

Maggie pales and her eyes open wide along with her mouth. She tries to say something but nothing comes out.

Alex's shock at what she just confessed is evident on her face. She just wants to bury herself in a hole far away and to never come out.

But the cat is out of the bag, and she has to deal with the consequences. _Fortune favors the brave, dude_ , she hears Newt say in her head.

"I, um, I like you Maggie."

She doesn't know what else to add, so she just waits while dying a bit inside with every second that passes.

There's a sad smile on Maggie's face and Alex wants to die for real now.

"Alex, I..."

"Don't, I know what you're going to say." Alex feels like there’s a heavy rock sitting on her chest. God, why did she even say that? Stupid Alex. Stupid baby gay, trying to attract someone like Maggie with her flailing.

"No, please, hear me out."

Alex looks at her, trying to hold back her tears. Here it comes, the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. She doesn’t expect it to happen so soon after the most fun weekend she's had for a very long time, but she supposes it’s her own fault for blurt out _that_ so soon.

"Dan—Alex, I like you too, so much, but this wouldn't be fair for any of us. I'm just getting out of a relationship and you're just coming to terms with who you are. I want you to be sure of how you feel, to experience everything you can and to really get to know yourself. I've been there, where you are now, and I know how bright and shiny everything feels, new and exciting, and I want you to have that. And focus on that feeling and on yourself, not me. Once that happens, maybe we could be something. But the important thing here is you and no one else, and I like you too much not to let you experience you."

The first thing that Alex feels is hurt and the second is humiliation. She's not done processing what Maggie has said, the only thing she wants is to bail and be alone.

Rejected. Of course she is rejected by someone like Maggie, why wouldn’t she be?

She looks at Maggie, trying to hold back tears and thinking of a way to escape without losing too much of her shattered pride.

Maggie looks at her, her eyes filled with so many emotions. Suddenly Maggie's arms are around her and without thinking, she hugs her back. Everything that she said comes rushing back to Alex.

_I like you too, so much._

Maggie likes her too.

She allows her traitorous heart a little bit of hope.

The hug ends too soon for Alex’s taste and Maggie looks at her with a tiny smile. She can see fear in Maggie’s eyes. Affection too. Possibly? Or maybe she’s just projecting?

God, this is confusing. She needs time to think and regroup.

She takes a deep breath. Maggie waits patiently, like she waited when Alex came out to her, sort of.

"I'm…" She can't find words to express everything that's going through her head. The only thing she knows is that Maggie is right. Even if it hurts right now, that's the truth.

She nods, signaling her to go on, and Alex smiles despite of herself. Maggie is just so good, so beautiful and kind. "I understand."

Maggie hugs her again, whispering a _thank you_ to Alex’s ears. Alex hugs her back too, and then she lets go. She still needs to go, but at least there's hope blooming in her chest and it doesn't feel as tight as it did moments ago.

"I have to go." 

Maggie looks at her with a worried and, dare she say it, sad expression.

Alex smiles reassuringly. "I need to process a lot of things, but we'll be in touch okay? I promise."

She nods, and with that, Alex walks away.

Maggie didn’t say no.

That’s enough, at least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's a maybe ever after kind of thing. Sorry for making you read a nearly 10k chapter and they didn't even kiss in the end, but I think it was for the best. 
> 
> Maggie is Alex's first big crush and I know it feels like the end of the world when the girl you like doesn't like you back, but in here, Maggie likes Alex too. They both just need more time, for Maggie to get over her ex and for Alex to be more sure of herself. Basically, just like canon, minus the big damn kiss.
> 
> I don't know, feel free to yell at us. Well, me, mainly, because even CS was like "WHAT?! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE MAGGIE REJECT ALEX?! AGAIN?!" so yeah.
> 
> Edit by CS: hey guys I fixed some grammar in the last chapter.  
> Vallern if you read this: you're gay.  
> Thanks for reading!


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